Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
