Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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