no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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