Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
