I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
