Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A bitchslap is in order.
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