I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We're too hungover to prance.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
