Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
