Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
