and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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