He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
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walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
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I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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