I am puke
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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