We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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