Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
