she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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