: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
