Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
