areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
