I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
