Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
