You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
