we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
