My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
