Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She bit a glass in half.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize