honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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