Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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