just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and she was petting her beer can
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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