i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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