I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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