Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My life is pants optional.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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