Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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