I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
