never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
