I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
