i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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