I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My ass is underappreciated
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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