He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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