he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
