We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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