Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
