Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
