I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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