it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
