OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
