My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
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I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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