My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
