Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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