what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
