dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
