PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
