Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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