Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
