kristin has been a bad kristin
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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