I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
