Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
