so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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