I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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