We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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