She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
