You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
