No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
