whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
