I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
