so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
