I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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