so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
MIDGETS
????
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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